🥤 The Ultimate Fountain of Youth Supercharged Smoothie (A.K.A. the "Aging Gracefully, but Like, Cool" Blend)
Alright, here’s the deal: I haven’t tried this bad boy yet (stay tuned for live-action reactions 👀), but after going full Sherlock Holmes on nutrition blogs, research papers, AI, and probably a Reddit rabbit hole or two, I’m convinced this might be the ultimate smoothie for my picky-eater, beef-and-pork-free lifestyle.
*UPDATE - I've tried my first one - see my notes at the end
Tomorrow is D-Day (Drink Day)—so if this turns out to be a liquid miracle or an epic disaster, you’ll be the first to know. Expect updates, tips, tricks, and maybe even a dramatic spit-take video if it’s nasty. 🎥💥
Heads up: This recipe makes one large smoothie (24-28 oz / ~700-800 ml), which equals a full-on meal replacement for most people. I’ll probably downsize because I’m a lil’ elder person with lil’ energy needs. The nutrient breakdown is at the bottom.
✨ What’s This Smoothie Good For?
🛡️ Anti-cancer: Dodge the C-word like it’s a text from a toxic ex—left unread forever.
⏳ Anti-aging: Because prevention is cheaper than dropping $200 on wrinkle cream that smells like regret.
💅 Teeth, hair, nails, skin: Your all-in-one glow-up potion—because why spend hours at a salon when you can sip your way to fabulous?
🧠 Anti-dementia: I’m not there yet, but future me will thank me.
💩 Digestive health: Menopause is basically the final boss, and this smoothie is your cheat code.
🏋️ Overall health and fitness: Maybe I’ll finally get back on TikTok—or at least think about it while I’m scrolling through Goldendoodle videos.
🛒 Ingredients (A.K.A. The Glow-Up Crew):
I've also included a section at the bottom for some optional add-ons. I'm going to focus on perfecting this recipe first, though.
1 scoop liquid collagen – Supports skin, hair, nails, joints, and muscle repair. (Skip the #NoFilterNeeded—because, let’s be real, if you’re still using that hashtag unironically, we need to have a talk. 😬)
1 scoop magnesium powder – Powers over 300+ biochemical reactions in your body—basically the Swiss Army knife of minerals. It boosts energy, muscles, and mood like a champ. The true unsung hero, quietly saving your vibe while calcium steals all the spotlight. 🦸♂️
1 cup unsweetened oat milk – Dairy-free, creamy AF, and great for heart health (beta-glucan for the win). It is not just hipster coffee flex - it helps lower LDL and has B12, D, calcium, and tiny amounts of iron. Real talk- you can use almond milk for less calories or coconut for hydrating post-workout.
1/2 avocado – Healthy fats for brain gains, plus that creamy texture.
1/2 cup spinach – Iron, fiber, and antioxidants. Even Popeye needed help staying swole.
1/2 cup frozen mixed berries – Antioxidants and vitamin C overload. Bonus: They make your smoothie taste like dessert without the side of guilt. 🍓✨
1 small frozen banana – Potassium boost = no more Charlie horses (Charlie, whoever tf that is, is canceled).
1 tbsp chia seeds (soaked overnight) – Omega-3s, fiber, and fullness. Snack cravings = gone. Why have one omega when you could have ALL the omegas?
1 tbsp almond butter or walnuts – Plant-based protein, vitamin E, and healthy fats.
1 tsp spirulina powder –The weird green superfood you didn’t know you needed. Algae’s glow-up moment: packed with protein, B vitamins (B1, B2, B3) for energy like you slept 8 hours. Loaded with phycocyanin (an antioxidant MVP), lowers LDL, raises HDL, and even binds to toxins like arsenic—because if someone’s trying to poison you, spirulina’s like, “Not today, Satan.” 💚
1 tsp honey (optional) – Nature’s candy with a side of antioxidants.
1/4 tsp cinnamon – Anti-inflammatory spice with fall vibes. OMG fav season, y'all!
1 tsp turmeric + black pepper – Anti-inflammatory power duo; black pepper boosts absorption. Think Batman & Robin but spicier. Ugh. This is what I'm NOT looking forward to! I hope I can mask the taste. Honey, honey, more honey?
1 crushed vitamin C tablet (optional) – Collagen’s bestie + immunity booster. Because immune systems need friends, too.
1 tbsp ground flaxseed – Omega-3s and anti-cancer properties. BOOM.
1/2 tsp matcha powder – Smooth caffeine boost, minus the jitters. Caffeine that doesn’t crash (take that, coffee).
1/4 cup kefir or probiotic yogurt – Probiotic powerhouse = gut health goals. For gut health that says, “I’ve got my sh$t together.”*
1 tsp apple cider vinegar (optional) – Digestive aid + blood sugar balancer. A gut-health flex, if you’re brave enough to handle the tang. I might skip this the first go-round and add it the second. I just feel like this will kill the taste.
1 capsule NAD+ supplement – Cellular repair, anti-aging, and energy-boosting superstar. Works synergistically with resveratrol and matcha for maximum cell-rejuvenating effects. Anti-aging magic. Dump the powder and pray the bitterness doesn’t end you.
1 tsp Lion’s Mane powder (adaptogen) – Brain-boosting, memory-sharpening, focus-enhancing mushroom magic. Sharpens your brain like a fresh pencil before a test. (Don't add more than 1-2 adaptogens to your masterpiece.)
1 tsp Maca powder (adaptogen) – Energy, hormone balance, and mood-boosting plant power. Gives you that I woke up like this energy.
🥤 How to Prepare Your Supercharged Smoothie
Welcome to Smoothie Sorcery 101—where we blend like bosses and sip like legends. Follow these steps, and soon you’ll be glowing brighter than your phone screen on max brightness. No need to blend between adding each ingredient—unless you’re trying to give your blender an ego boost.
⚡ Step 1: Summon the Liquid Base (Oat Milk FTW)
Pour 1 cup of oat milk into your blender first. Why first? Because nobody likes a clinger—especially not your smoothie ingredients.
🥬 Step 2: The "Thicc Factor"
Add avocado, spinach
🍌 Step 3: Fruit Time
Add berries & banana while singing, “I’m berry excited, and I find you a-peeling!” 🎶 Bonus points if you hit a high note every time you drop a berry in.
🥄 Step 4: Powders, Potions, and Magical Dusts
Now it’s time to go full wizard mode:
Add collagen, magnesium, chia, almond butter or walnuts, spirulina, maca, lion’s mane powder, crushed vitamin C, turmeric + black pepper, cinnamon, matcha powder, NAD+ (and any of the level-ups you're daring to try).
🍯 Step 5: Optional Flavor Power-Ups (If You’re Feeling Fancy.)
Honey, kefir or probiotic yogurt, apple cider vinegar,
🔥 Step 6: Blend Like You Mean It
Set your blender to obliterate (or just hit high speed for 1-2 mins).
Watch everything transform from “What am I doing?” to “I’m basically a health influencer now.”
💡 Step 7: Taste Test (The Moment of Truth)
Take a sip and channel your inner food critic:
“Mmm, earthy undertones with a hint of existential purpose.”
Too bitter? Add a bit of honey or a splash of oat milk.
Too thick? More oat milk. Too thin? Add ice and blend again.
✨Step 8: Final Touches & Flexes
Sprinkle a little extra cinnamon on top. Aesthetic points = achieved.
Snap a pic for Instagram—actually, scratch that. Let's keep this masterpiece between you, your blender, and your future glow-up. No need for the humblebrag; your radiant skin will do the talking. 😉
🎯 When to Drink This Glow-Up Potion
🌞 Morning: For that unstoppable, world-conquering energy.
🏋️ Post-Workout: Muscle repair and refueling like an absolute beast.
🌙 Evening: Skip the matcha unless you enjoy staring at your ceiling at 3 a.m.
I'm going to start with skipping lunch for this. We'll see how it goes. I don't usually eat breakfast, soooo, there's that.
⚖️ Nutrients You Could Overdose On (And Their Limits):
Nutrient | Daily Upper Limit (UL) | In This Smoothie | Avoid Extra… |
Vitamin C | 2,000 mg | ~500-1,000 mg | Extra supplements, and maybe don't binge eat citrus fruits |
Magnesium | 350 mg (supplements) | ~300-350 mg | Fortified foods, extra supplements, don't binge on pumpkin seeds or almonds. |
Resveratrol | 1,000 mg | 150-500 mg | Extra supplements, red wine |
Fiber | 25-38 g | ~20-22 g | High-fiber meals |
Caffeine | 400 mg | ~35 mg (matcha) | Extra coffee/energy drinks |
Omega-3s | No strict limit (>3,000 mg risky) | ~1,500 mg | Supplements, fatty fish, or too many chia/flax seeds, walnuts |
Turmeric | ~2,000 mg | ~2,000 mg | Extra turmeric supplements |
NAD+ | No established UL (safe up to 1,000 mg) | 300-500 mg | Extra supplements |
MCT Oil | Not established. | 1 tbsp (5ml) | Avoid if you have liver conditions. |
⚡ Want more of a Boost? Quick-Add Superpowers:
I'll try these bad boys after I get the main recipe perfected. But here they are if you're brave enough to go head first.
🚫 Warning: Do not mix all the extra add-ons unless you’re ready to roll the dice on a “who-needs-a-gut-anyway” experience. Keep it chill with 2-3 upgrades based on your vibe. 💥
1-2 tbsp Hemp Seeds
All 9 essential AA's, omega 6, fiber, iron, mg2+, Zn2+, K+
Solid complement to lion's mane, chia, flax.
Supports muscle repair, heart and brain function.
Adds calories (170 Cal per 3 tbsp). Ouch!
🥥 1 tsp MCT Oil (Quick Energy Boost)
💥 Best in the AM or for a midday slump.
🔋 Fast energy—no insulin spike!
🚽 Caution: Start slow, or it’s “Why am I running to the bathroom every 10 minutes?”
🍴 Adds 120 calories (don’t say I didn’t warn ya).
🌿 Ashwagandha Powder (The Chill Pill in Plant Form)
😌 Lowers stress, chills anxiety, helps you sleep.
💪 Boosts testosterone (good for the bros).
⚠️ Beware: Can cause drowsiness and upset your stomach. Avoid if you’re on thyroid or anxiety meds.
🚫 Limit: Stick to 1-2 adaptogens total (looking at you, Rhodiola + Maca users).
🧠 Rhodiola Rosea Powder (Brain Fuel)
🚀 Boosts energy, brainpower, and endurance.
😵💫 Too much = Jitters & insomnia (keep it out of your evening blend).
🧠 Overlaps with Lion’s Mane + Matcha (don’t overdo it).
✅ Dose: 200-400 mg/day
🍵 L-Theanine (The Anti-Jitters MVP)
🧘 Balances caffeine = calm focus, no crash.
🌙 Helps you sleep if taken before bed (yup, even with caffeine).
🔄 Match made in heaven: Pair with matcha at a 2:1 ratio (e.g., 100 mg theanine : 50 mg caffeine).
🌱 1-2 tsp Beetroot Powder (Endurance Booster)
🏃♀️ Improves blood flow, oxygen use, and workout stamina.
❤️ Lowers blood pressure + reduces inflammation.
🤣 Side Effect: Say hello to beeturia (yup, red pee is real).
💨 Extra fiber = extra farts if you’re already loaded on flaxseed/chia.
💩 1 tsp Prebiotic Fiber (Inulin/Acacia) (Gut BFF)
🦠 Feeds those good gut bugs.
🚽 Promotes “poops on the reg” (thanks, fiber).
⚡ Stabilizes blood sugar.
💨 Add cautiously—this can turn you into a human whoopee cushion if paired with too much chia/flax.
🔋 100 mg CoQ10 (Energy Power-Up)
⚡ Boosts mitochondrial function (teams up with NAD+).
💖 Improves heart health, fights inflammation.
🌙 Take in the morning—otherwise, it’s Insomnia O’Clock.
🔄 May be redundant with NAD+ + Resveratrol if energy’s your only goal.
🥜 Peanut Butter Powder (PB2) or Regular PB
💪 Adds protein, potassium, magnesium, and vitamin E.
🛑 Careful with fat overload if you’ve already got avocado + MCT oil on deck.
✅ Stick to 1-2 tbsp to avoid turning this into a calorie bomb.
🧂 Himalayan Pink Salt (Electrolyte Hero)
💦 Helps with hydration, pH balance, and post-workout recovery.
⚠️ Too much = blood pressure spike (especially with salted almond butter).
✅ Use a pinch (literally).
🍫 Cacao Nibs or Cocoa Powder (The Chocolatey Superfood)
❤️ Improves heart health, boosts blood flow.
😍 Contains phenylethylamine for mood-boosting magic.
⚡ Tiny caffeine hit—track your total intake if you’re also using matcha.
🧠 Phosphatidylserine (Brain Booster)
🧠 Improves memory, focus, and reduces cortisol (goodbye, stress).
🌙 Skip it late—it can cause insomnia.
🤢 High doses = potential stomach upset.
✅ Stick to 100-300 mg/day to stay in the safe zone.
💡 Pro Tip: Don’t Go Full Hulk Mode 💥
Advice - pick 2-3 add-ons based on your goals:
🏋️♂️ Energy & Workout Gains: MCT oil, beetroot, CoQ10
🧠 Brain Boost: Lion’s Mane, Rhodiola, Phosphatidylserine
🌙 Chill Vibes: Ashwagandha, L-Theanine, Magnesium
🔥 TL;DR (In Gen Z Speak):
This smoothie = nutrient flex 💪 Almost a one-and-done for your vitamin needs, energy, and glow-up goals. But stacking supplements later? Nah, don’t risk the tummy troubles (💩).
Keep your meals light, lean, and chill for the rest of the day—you’re already winning with this drink. 🚀
Smoothie Power-Up Poll! What’s your top goal for trying this smoothie?
💪 Muscle gains & post-workout recovery
🧠 Brainpower boost
🔥 Weight loss & fat-burning
🛡️Anti-aging & long-term health
*UPDATE 2/24/25: 🥤Blender Chronicles: A Cautionary Tale by a Kitchen Disaster Magnet 🍌
So, turns out I’m basically a bull in a china shop🐂🫙—but, like, in the kitchen. I’ve never been trained on a blender (because apparently, that’s a thing now?🤷♂️), and let’s just say…total mess - in my hair, in my dog's hair, uhhhh. BUT, plot twist: my first attempt actually turned out pretty stellar. Here’s my chaotic review.
First off, either the blackberry seeds or chia seeds decided to set up camp in every crevice of my teeth. Still, the flavor? Chef’s kiss—worth every awkward post-sip floss session.
The color was not a pretty bright green, but rather a dull, purple-tinted army green. Not terrible, though - still an appetizing color in a way. Maybe I didn't put enough of the spirulina? I donno, I got tired of measuring stuff, and all I had was a 1/2 tsp spoon (I don't bake), so maybe I just did one of those?
Now, I skipped adding resveratrol and NAD+ capsules because why ruin a masterpiece with bitterness? Gotta perfect the taste before I go full health nut overlord.
The pepper for the turmeric? I think it’s there, maybe? Unless my brain is gaslighting me, I literally can’t taste it unless I deep-dive for that imaginary heat. Ignore it like that one text you swear you didn’t see.
Problem? I made too much smoothie—scaling back on the fruit, yogurt, and almond butter next round.
Also, as someone who isn’t a big smoothie drinker, I have no clue what “frozen” is supposed to feel like. I threw in some ice, and now I’ve got a milkshake vibe going. Not mad about it. Feels like I’m cheating the health gods, honestly.
Banana Fiasco™ I froze a banana… jacket and all. Rookie move. Peeling that thing after freezing was like trying to undress a popsicle with superglue on. Lesson learned: peel first, freeze later. Also, I ditched plastic—so now I’m sitting here like, how does one freeze a banana without getting microplastics? My struggles - not your burden. If you have the solution, hmu in the comments below.
Fast-Forward to Fasting: Did my first 16-hour fast today, broke it at 1:30 PM with this smoothie beast. It’s now 2:16 PM, and I’m still sipping, waiting to either:
Morph into a superhero 💪
Throw up 🚫
Or unlock some unforeseen superfood side quest
Bonus Screw-Up: Tried allulose for the first time because apparently it doesn’t break a fast—turns out, that’s a half-truth. It won’t mess with weight loss (which, at 107 lbs, isn’t my goal), but it does interrupt the gut biome’s autophagy. Also? Possible gastric apocalypse incoming, like sugar alcohols but with extra spite. Just gonna have bitter black coffee in the AMs and treat myself with a Starbucks on the weekends.
Stay tuned for whether I ascend to health god status or… spend the evening regretting my life choices. FML.
⚠️ Medical Disclaimer - Ya know I gotta do this:
The information provided in this smoothie guide and ingredient breakdown is intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice. It is not a substitute for professional medical consultation, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified healthcare provider.
Always consult with a physician, registered dietitian, or healthcare professional before starting any new dietary supplement, especially if you are:
Pregnant or breastfeeding
Taking prescription medications (e.g., thyroid meds, anxiety treatments)
Living with chronic conditions such as diabetes, heart disease, or autoimmune disorders
Do not exceed the recommended dosages of supplements without consulting a healthcare provider. Depending on individual health conditions and other medications, potential side effects or interactions could occur.
📚 Peer-Reviewed Scientific References for Supplement Benefits:
🧠 Cognitive Function & Brain Health:
Lion’s Mane Mushroom:
Mori, K., Inatomi, S., Ouchi, K., Azumi, Y., & Tuchida, T. (2009). Improving cognitive function with Lion’s Mane mushroom (Hericium erinaceus) in mild cognitive impairment: A double-blind placebo-controlled clinical trial. Phytotherapy Research, 23(3), 367-372. DOI:10.1002/ptr.2634
Rhodiola Rosea:
Panossian, A., & Wikman, G. (2010). Effects of adaptogens on the central nervous system and the molecular mechanisms associated with their stress-protective activity. Pharmaceuticals, 3(1), 188-224. DOI:10.3390/ph3010188
❤️ Heart Health & Anti-Inflammatory Effects:
Resveratrol:
Baur, J. A., & Sinclair, D. A. (2006). Therapeutic potential of resveratrol: The in vivo evidence. Nature Reviews Drug Discovery, 5(6), 493-506. DOI:10.1038/nrd2060
Coenzyme Q10 (CoQ10):
Littarru, G. P., & Tiano, L. (2007). Bioenergetic and antioxidant properties of coenzyme Q10: Recent developments. Molecular Biotechnology, 37(1), 31-37. DOI:10.1007/s12033-007-0036-x
💪 Energy & Exercise Performance:
Beetroot Powder:
Lansley, K. E., Winyard, P. G., Fulford, J., Vanhatalo, A., & Jones, A. M. (2011). Dietary nitrate supplementation reduces the O2 cost of walking and running: A placebo-controlled study. Journal of Applied Physiology, 110(3), 591-600. DOI:10.1152/japplphysiol.01070.2010
MCT Oil:
St-Onge, M. P., & Bosarge, A. (2008). Weight-loss diet that includes consumption of medium-chain triacylglycerol oil leads to a greater rate of weight and fat mass loss than does olive oil. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 87(3), 621-626. DOI:10.1093/ajcn/87.3.621
🌿 Stress Reduction & Hormonal Balance:
Ashwagandha:
Chandrasekhar, K., Kapoor, J., & Anishetty, S. (2012). A prospective, randomized double-blind, placebo-controlled study of safety and efficacy of a high-concentration full-spectrum extract of ashwagandha root in reducing stress and anxiety in adults. Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine, 34(3), 255-262. DOI:10.4103/0253-7176.106022
Maca Powder:
Gonzales, G. F., Cordova, A., Vega, K., Chung, A., Villena, A., & Góñez, C. (2001). Effect of Lepidium meyenii (Maca) on sexual desire and its absent relationship with serum testosterone levels in healthy adult men. Andrologia, 34(6), 367-372. DOI:10.1046/j.1439-0272.2002.00519.x
💡 Quick Note on Research Limitations:
While these studies suggest benefits for the ingredients listed, individual responses can vary. Some research is preliminary, particularly in human trials, so always consult a healthcare professional before significantly changing your diet or supplement routine.
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