The Ritz-Carlton, New Orleans: Yassss!
- Bon Blossman
- Dec 9, 2016
- 5 min read
When a Ritz-Carlton is good, it’s really good. The kind of good that makes you forgive past mistakes. The kind of good that makes you feel safe, hydrated, and gently guided back to adulthood. The Ritz-Carlton, New Orleans is that kind of good.
This hotel doesn’t just offer luxury — it offers rehabilitation. Which, frankly, is exactly what we needed.
To be fair, the last time I stayed here was in 2013, during the filming of Big Rich Texas, when we traveled to New Orleans in season three. A lot could have happened to this property since then.
Arrival: Fleeing Chaos, Entering Calm
We arrived at The Ritz-Carlton, New Orleans under… let’s call it circumstances.
We had just bolted from staying in a haunted mansion.
A real one.
The kind where every creak sounds intentional, every hallway feels judgmental, and sleep is more of a suggestion than a guarantee. At some point, the group consensus was clear:
We must leave immediately.
So we diva'd up to the producers.
Demanded safe, non-supernatural accommodations.
We fled.
Enter The Ritz-Carlton New Orleans — calm, grounded, elegant, and not haunted (as far as we could tell). The transition was instant. You walk through the doors, and the city noise fades, your shoulders drop, and your nervous system goes:
Oh, thank God.
This hotel understands the importance of arrival. It doesn’t rush you. It doesn’t overwhelm you. It quietly absorbs you.
Its location is perfect: a short walk from Bourbon Street, Jackson Square, Café du Monde — so you’re in the heart of the city’s action but in a quiet, peaceful retreat.
The Lobby: This Is What “We’ve Got You” Feels Like
The lobby sets the tone immediately.
Elegant but not stiff.
Grand but not intimidating.
Often filled with live music that feels organic and deeply New Orleans — not performative, not touristy.
It’s the kind of space where you sit down “just for a minute” and suddenly realize you’ve been there for half an hour, staring into space, mentally rehydrating.
This is where you realize:
Oh. This is a good Ritz.
Cindy and I sat in the lobby for countless hours listening to someone play Frank Sinatra on the piano.
Heaven.
Service: Intuitive, Human, and Blessedly Normal
The service here is what the Ritz-Carlton brand promises but doesn’t always deliver elsewhere.
Staff members are warm, present, and competent. Not robotic. Not overly rehearsed. Just… good at their jobs. They anticipate needs without hovering, help without judgment, and manage to be both professional and genuinely kind.
You never feel like an inconvenience. You never feel like you’re interrupting something. You feel like the hotel exists for you — which is the entire point.
Rooms: Sanctuary Achieved
After fleeing a haunted mansion, I cannot overstate how much we appreciated the rooms.
Quiet. Comfortable. Clean. Thoughtfully designed. The beds feel like they were engineered to erase poor life choices. The lighting is calming. The bathrooms are spacious and luxurious. Everything works.
This is not a room where you feel like you’re merely staying overnight. This is a room where you think, I could emotionally unpack here.
The Gumbo: A Hero’s Journey
Let’s talk about the gumbo.
The gumbo was excellent.
Our hangovers were not.
And yet—somehow—the gumbo met us exactly where we were. Rich. Flavorful. Restorative. The kind of food that doesn’t judge you for the night before, but quietly helps you recover from it.
It was everything you want in New Orleans: authentic, deeply satisfying, and served in an environment that makes you feel like a human again.
M. Bistro
M. Bistro is the main restaurant of the Ritz-Carlton in New Orleans. I’m a first-generation Texan, but my family is from Louisiana. My dad’s side is New Orleans—grew up in a house in the French Quarter. My mom’s side is from Houma, south of the city. I bring this up because I may have had gumbo once or twice growing up.
Not the kind served out of a red ketchup squeeze bottle in Destin (yes, that really happened), tasting vaguely like V8. I’m talking about real Cajun gumbo. The kind of food that gives you a preview of what heaven might be like—once most of us get there. I’ve atoned for the voodoo. Don’t worry.
And I had some of the best gumbo of my life at M. Bistro.
Big Rich Texas, Bourbon Street, and Regret
At one point during this stay, the Big Rich Texas cast that mattered — Cindy, Dee, Connie, and Melissa — found ourselves on Bourbon Street.
Mistakes were made.
Thank goodness most of them were not filmed (aka: voodoo candle incident) - or, if they were, the producers couldn't fit it into their story.
Items were purchased.
Specifically, a voodoo candle.
I will say upfront: I am not proud of it.
And it might have supernaturally contributed to 'nobody being on the show,' now that I think about it.
Don't mess with dark magic, people.
But New Orleans has a way of convincing you that everything is fine and that buying questionable spiritual objects at night is perfectly reasonable. And bringing them back to the Ritz and following the instructions that came with the candle with four of your friends is perfectly normal and fine.
The city has charisma.
Bourbon Street has confidence.
Lots of confidence.
In fact, so much confidence that we were nearly run over by a mob because the production company/network only sprung for one, very high, bodyguard for the crew and us.
We were outmatched.
Thankfully, The Ritz-Carlton New Orleans was there to receive us afterward — unbothered, unjudging, and unwilling to ask follow-up questions.
This is an underrated luxury feature.
A Hotel That Knows What City It’s In
What The Ritz-Carlton New Orleans does especially well is balance a sense of place with restraint. It honors the city without turning it into a caricature. There’s soul here — in the music, the pacing, the atmosphere — but it’s never loud or kitschy.
You feel like you’re in New Orleans, not trapped in a themed experience of it.
The Spa at The Ritz-Carlton, New Orleans
Setting: Right in the French Quarter on Canal Street, it’s built as a full-on sanctuary inside the hotel—less “quick massage stop,” more “I have temporarily exited the mortal realm.” The spa is described as 25,000 square feet and (depending on the listing/version) ~20–22 treatment rooms, plus a café and boutique—which is a lot of spa for an urban hotel.
I suggest the Voodoo Ritual (massage) — a signature, New Orleans–specific experience is the bomb!
I wished we could have made a whole day of it (treatments + decompression + spa café vibe), but alas, we had filming to do.
The Ritz-Carlton Standard, Remembered
This property is a reminder of what the Ritz-Carlton brand is capable of when standards are upheld.
Everything works.
The staff is aligned.
The systems are functional.
The experience feels cohesive.
Nothing feels accidental.
Nothing feels neglected.
Final Verdict: Stay Here
The Ritz-Carlton, New Orleans is not just a place to sleep — it’s part of the recovery process. It’s a reset button. A soft landing. A reminder that luxury, when done right, doesn’t shout.
It reassures.
If you’re visiting New Orleans and want a hotel that can handle:
Hangovers
Haunted mansions
Bourbon Street decisions
And large personalities
…this is the place.
When a Ritz-Carlton is good, it’s really good.
And this one absolutely is.
I give this place a very solid 8.5/10, and I'm only taking off points because I haven't stayed on the Club Level yet. I plan to, one day.
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